23.03.2016 von antjeN

Celebrating partnership

TRUST = PRESSURE  Impowering partnership in knowing how to communicate – commit to the full conversation (stop asking for things that you don’t really need, because it is exhausting to both sides – no fun play)

I hope this get’s you more of what you need!

Flat tire scenario, because we don’t ask for:
enough sleep
enough sex
enough alone time, …
so if we don’t ask, we think, we don’t deserve it!

Most people are not asking for what they need, in a way that the person on the other end can act upon …

As a result of feeling pressured people can’t think anymore and it create a resistant. Or if you don’t put enough pressure the person on the other end is not knowing that it really matters a lot

Do you think, that your man doesn’t care or they are actively withholding it …

NEWS !!!! Men really want to give you what you need! News!!! Men really want to give you what you need!

So woman need to know, what they need and deserve (the queen workshop). Because men are committed to give us why

Do you question your self: How to maintain and re-establish a partnership? (love and business)

Build Trust as predictable escalation (stop asking, asking, asking – because it seems like nagging and disengage the partner. You have to escalate your asking, so the other person knows what really matters to you and it will make your partner interested in scoring 400 in spending their energy – so it feels worth it)
We all want to do, what really matters! How do you show up and come predictable to the other person to catch on:

You need to be present and available – owning your own space @ 1

Ask @ 3

Insist @ 5
(is there something else you need)
Demand @ 7
(i gave you what you needed and i want to count on you and if it doesn’t happened now, we have to nature
.. we don’t participate in the same way, Do you want to have another chance.., Do you want another chance?, Who is a partner: Assume if he can he will!)
Enforce @ 10
A GREAT ASK (Full conversation and awning your partner) – this is all about your truth!
NEEDS ELEMENTS:

Think about what is your favorite way to be asked? How do i get invested in another persons need? I want to be interested in … (whatever he/she is up to and what most matters to him/her)

I need ___________________  (simple statement) If he can, he will! (he needs to get the point!)

It looks like ______________________ (what, when, how often, by when – describe details that are important) ask: and what would that look like? (because it looks and means difference for each person)

It would provide _______________________ (give me …, allow me …, create result, quality) this is motivation Nr. 1: the impact that your action would have … YES! They want to know what’s in it for you and them!

What do you need to give me, what I am asking for? …. (Is there anything that you need to do what I am asking you) here is the moment, when they can pick it up and get it  (deal!)…. Release (give them space to think!)

As a woman you are in
protect and provide mode or
support and enhance mode
Woman are always sakrovising without even being ask for …

As a men -
you have to understand that he needs to request the details
if he gets to much details he is having the sense that you waste his time
men find out what they deserve is math: they take all they have done good minus what they’ve done

ASK YOURSELF (before you are asking … ask your self)

- Do I really need this? (is it a win or is it a bonus? Is it costing you to not have something)
- Am I willing to have the whole conversation? (if you don’t, then it doesn’t matter enough to you – or it doesn’t cost you enough yet to not have it)
- What is „not having what I need“ costing? … in who I can be …; … in what can be caused …; in the future I see …; … in the future I see …; … how I’m relating to my partners …

Something that you don’t know about each other 

When a woman goes a certain time without what she needs – she griefs …
Because if it’s important She knows if it’s important , that there is only a limited time that she can go without it … she is briefing the loss of the future that she was seeing … the happily ever after that she imagined … she griefs some more …. and she griefs some more … when she is dome briefing, than she leaves and she will be happy again!

NOW Men are shocked that she is so happy … because she leaving, is when she leaves you start grieving …

If a woman is going for years without getting her needs met – she leaves

The consequences of not getting what you need is withdrawal

This is why asking for getting what you need …

A lot of relaionships are going without the conversations of „what you need“ and learning how to have a full conversation and empowering your partner to get you what you need!

It’s a process and I call it „Celebrating partnership!“

All yours – Antje